First Christmas as an amputee
It’s fair to say that the past 9 months have been quite a roller-coaster ride of emotions! What came as quite a surprise though was the massive dip that happened over Christmas. I guess the festive period is intrinsically emotional but this year I found it quite difficult.
If someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas then that would immediately crash me emotionally. I’d smile and say ”a new dvd or book” or something, but in my head I’d be screaming “isn’t bloody obvious what I want? - my legs back!!!”
However - I survived - and despite feeling occasionally a bit down - we had a good, quiet family Christmas.
I’ve realised that I have neglected my mental health a bit. I could keep myself distracted to a large extent and maybe I never really faced things properly. It was all a bit surreal - it’s so mind blowingly weird - and now it’s becoming real. Every morning I feel like the past few months has been a weird dream until I look down and get a sharp hit of reality. I’m not sure when this will change? I’m not sure when not having feet will become “normal.”
So what’s next?
Next week I’m off to Dorset Orthopaedics to get fitted with blades! Yes - a fat bloke on running blades!! I’ll leave it to a future blog to talk about these more.
In the next few weeks I’m going to be subject of a BBC documentary piece - so that’s exciting as well.
I‘m hoping that some lifestyle modification (ie cut back on the alcohol) and a bit of exercise will further improve my state of mind. I would really love to complete a park run. I love the thought that if I manage a 5km run I would have done something I couldn’t have done with legs!!!